Most of us have experienced how difficult the topic of human sexuality can be. We find it especially difficult to talk about it in our churches. However, I believe that is precisely where we should have the conversation.
Moreover, talking about human sexuality should not be reserved for the pre-pubescent teenager. That’s precisely part of our problem. We only talk about it with 10- to 12-year-olds and rarely revisit it. We don’t talk to college students; we don’t talk to newlyweds outside of premarital counseling; we don’t talk to divorcees; we don’t talk to empty-nesters; we don’t talk to widows and widowers. We certainly don’t preach about it. We just don’t talk about it.
I suspect part of the reason we don’t talk about it is because we don’t know where to start and we feel ill-equipped. We cannot even talk about our own sexuality!
As a provisional deacon in The United Methodist Church, I feel called to a ministry to help churches have these important conversations. We need to do better. We need to teach a holistic approach to human sexuality in our churches.
Moreover, talking about human sexuality should not be reserved for the pre-pubescent teenager. That’s precisely part of our problem. We only talk about it with 10- to 12-year-olds and rarely revisit it. We don’t talk to college students; we don’t talk to newlyweds outside of premarital counseling; we don’t talk to divorcees; we don’t talk to empty-nesters; we don’t talk to widows and widowers. We certainly don’t preach about it. We just don’t talk about it.
I suspect part of the reason we don’t talk about it is because we don’t know where to start and we feel ill-equipped. We cannot even talk about our own sexuality!
As a provisional deacon in The United Methodist Church, I feel called to a ministry to help churches have these important conversations. We need to do better. We need to teach a holistic approach to human sexuality in our churches.
What is Holistic Human Sexuality?Human sexuality can be defined as the way people experience and express themselves sexually. This involves biological, erotic, physical, emotional, social, or spiritual feelings and behaviors. In middle schools across the country, sexual education focuses on the physical and biological feelings and behaviors. In churches, the focus can vary greatly and is inconsistent-- even within the same denominational affiliation. Your experience could likely be far different than another person's, even in the same church.
If we believe that human sexuality is a gift from God and is a part of who we are as beings created in the image of God, we cannot expect that we can learn everything God wants us to know about our human sexuality in one 8-hour course offered when we are 10-12 years old. We do not approach any other part of our faith in that manner. Why should we approach human sexuality that way? Based on this definition, we should approach human sexuality more broadly, considering intersectionality, and it should happen throughout our whole life. Human sexuality is more than just the physical act of sex. It is how we live into our God-given gift of sexuality. How we express our masculinity and/or femininity. How we feel about celibacy, virginity, marriage, divorce, abortion, and gender roles. How we approach emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy. When we approach human sexuality holistically, we attend to the human sexuality of the whole person in whatever time in life they find themselves. Children, Youth, Young Adults, College Students, Newlyweds, Divorcees, Parents, Empty-Nesters, Widows/Widowers all need to understand how their God-given sexuality is a part of who they are in that particular chapter in their life. When we approach human sexuality holistically, we give space for people to understand how their sexuality is a part of their whole being, created in the image of God. We make it less awkward, less dangerous, less taboo. We acknowledge it as something God created as "very good." |
Rev. Heather Gottas Moore
Heather has worked in youth, camping, and discipleship ministries for 20 years. A native Californian, Heather, and her son moved to Texas in 2008 and never looked back. She lives in Mesquite with her spouse, Geoffrey, and their teenagers, Noah and Akira. Heather serves in her appointment as the Assistant Director of Lifelong Learning in the Office of External Programs at Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University. As an ordained deacon in The United Methodist Church, Heather is passionate about standing at the threshold of the church, bridging the congregation with the community. Heather has a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology focusing on Teenage Sexuality from University of Arizona GC, a Masters of Divinity, and a Masters of Theology from Perkins School of Theology. She is currently pursuing a Doctor of Liberal Studies degree at Southern Methodist University. In her studies, Heather discerned a call to work with churches, small groups, and individuals to facilitate conversations about human sexuality —in all its parts— to help people live into the fullness of their createdness in healthy, holistic ways. Her other favorite things include camping, music, karaoke, crafts, gardening, and decorating cakes.
heather@ministryofholistichumansexuality.org |